Daisy was born just last year on Aug. 3rd and I celebrated my B-day, the best we could with C working:(, today! Back to back! Next weekend we are planning to really kick up our heels with a camping/ belated joint b-day party trip. Excited either way:) Lots of changes lately which is forcing things mental and physical, to be present. Welcoming my new age the big 36 and Daisy beginning toddlerhood at tender 1.
Friday, July 18, 2014
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
There has been a lot of them lately... Messages boiling up from the caverns.
Enoch photo above.
Thx again Jesse!!! Sweetest desert sage always
We celebrated E's birthday during the weekend and put the kids free zoo day passes to good use that they received as prizes for completing the local Summer Reading Program. The children went excitedly around taking in all the information keeping their spirits up in the hot, moist air. It was hard to see these wild creatures in captivity even with the clean exhibits and very interesting variety of animals. However, I have a curiosity about zoos. Long ago a kookaburra bird appeared to me once in my dreams. In the dream he was a living resident at the Portland Zoo, and had flown into a giant corn patch that was beautifully growing in our backyard, in fact in the dream as soon as the back door opened there was practically corn in your face. I found this odd because in reality I had planted corn that year but they had never grown, nor did they get as huge as they appeared during that dreamtime. In this dream 'our dimension' didn't appear to matter in the way I thought it should, for in the sleepy mists and ethereal time the kookaburra wanted to be surrounded by the tall leafy plants abounding in our small plot of land and seemed to be elated by them. This gaint kingfisher relative stopped once to perch on a bright yellow cob, then sang aloud, so loud! A call that pierced through me and shifted things with an unusual sound, and a world seeped in with his call. I was left wondering many things. I remember thinking what could this mean, a kookaburra? Now it makes more sense, I live in the land of corn. We've a sizable corn patch in the yard this year and last. When at first my dream occurred my parents we're coming to stay with us for a month and Iris who is now 5 was just born and they wanted to help out, partially at my request. I had become concerned that I was not ready and able to handle two children. I felt young in many ways and in a way I was, 30 or 31 is young. Needless to say our big 'family helps each other out idea' blew up and we ended up not speaking for 6 months. My words to them before they left our threshold aka. the front door, were 'What would you like, a high 5?' "No," my Dad said, "just a hug." "What about Enoch?", I asked because we had just taken him to school. I knew he would wonder where they went- he was only 4 and was happily thinking they would be picking him up. My Dad said, "Have him text me."
Going back and digging through this time I was angry because I thought they would act much differently, because in the kookaburra dream- they had taken Iris to the zoo, loved Portland, found our home lovely and so forth. In real life though, the story was much different. They hated Portland from day one, my Mom being an East LAer for life, said that too many white people trying too be cool lived there. Every where we took them, they found a thing to pick at. One day I decided to make Mexican Wedding cookies with my Mom in effort to bond and reconnect, baking and cooking always pulled us closer. But she mocked me over the size of the dough balls I made. My father sided with her and I felt exasperated by it all and I wasn't ready to deal with the fact that it had become such a big production. I began to realize it was always like this with them and that perhaps even my childhood memories had been romanticized for my own benefit.
Flash forward to now and as time would have it I have not spoken to my parents for 4 years. The dream occurred 5 years ago but still the vision stands so I felt compelled to visit the animals to just say hello if I could... The day out at the Des Moines Zoo with Enoch who's now 10, Iris now 5, baby Daisy and Chris was full of fun and oddly enough slight injury sustained by my daughter- kicks in the face from brother in the bouncy house... getting hoisted onto Dad's shoulder next to a metal ceiling fan that knocked her noggin twice in front of, no less, the kookaburra's as they calmly watched. In the end everything turned out fine and we as a family, were closer for it. Able to do so in good humor of course.
Still something lingered in the air that day as evening approached. I knew in a sort of prescient manner a change was arriving when on the way home I asked a cloud to give me a sign (a practice I do from time to time since the age of 20) and what appeared to be crying lady was given form. The sobbing woman seemed to be in great pain. I thought that would be me. Turned out it was a hint at what was to come. Except I ended up not being that woman, at least not in the way it would make the most sense. The culminating moment where the magic cat, Bastet the mighty or even Durga's lion could no longer protect me from the raw heart-racing encounter did indeed take place. The feline mysteries were taking shape, I had found myself facing the chariot's turning wheel the next day in fact, after the cloud reading. Strange days and I'm hoping to keep in a healing frame of mind for everyone involved. Dealing with ghosts and similar experiences that reappear in different form is jostling. But alas, I hope to learn even deeper than before. To new births and harmony.
rev. 6-15-14 at 10 pm.
* note to self do not post things unless edited 30 fucking times, always hearing other stuff and apparently have ADD.